What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 11:42
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Why do boobs of some girls bounce when they walk?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
He knew the spot.
What's the most incredible coincidence that ever happened to you?
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
My life is so biszare .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
She was in good health!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
What is the best way to get over your ex?
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
So, i spoilt her more .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Can a Trump supporter explain what was wrong with what Bishop Budde said to Donald Trump?
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I said to her
Are there any Indian wife swapping stories?
But it wasn’t much.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I think the readers, may guess!
I was scared of men, in general
What are some best sources of great porn?
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
When she asked me how she looked .
What are the pros and cons of arranged marriages?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I could never make a relationship work though!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Which document should be pointed out to a holocaust denier?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I write beautiful poetry .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Is it possible to become homeless after being released from jail or prison in the United States?
Ive learnt so much.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Why would Trump make conspiracy claims that Haitians are eating pets in Ohio?
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Would this be the day?
I never cut or harmed myself..
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I have no regrets .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
She found it foreign!.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I was 9 years of age.
I will be 64.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
And i lived it daily.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
She wouldn,t have been !
She married twice! .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
We all went to grammer schools
I don,t even have a pension.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Was to survive, this bastard.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
She loved him until the end.
But ive been too sick for many years..
This is soul school!.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Especially a lifetime of it.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
My family never makes their pension either.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
(And it was in our own minds.)
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I waited trembling.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Comes on , in middle age.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Put me off passion for life!!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I couldn’t, believe it.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But, we were locked up after school.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
We were not on the streets..
I was seconnd youngest,
Im still living with it.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Im dying but, im not bitter.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
He resisted the act ,that day.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
One cannot live in the past .
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
What did i know ?
I was very sick at this time too.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Who then, do I blame.?
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
It was going to be , some day.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
So whats the point in blame.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
All the time i was locked up.